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Your Calves Are Small Because You Suck

by | Apr 20, 2018

O K, So I’m fucking fed up with team #NoCalves #BadGenetics and whatever the fuck reason you claim calves don’t respond to weight training.

Here is a free list for you. Because apparently, lists are almost as good as infographics for making lazy fucks read stuff in their newsfeed that is not cats, boobs or “people are awesome-videos”. 

Also, I wrote this in a blog post.

Who the hell writes blog posts anymore? 

YOU DO NOT GET TO COMPLAIN ABOUT STUBBORN CALVES UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED THE FOLLOWING:

 

  1. Train your Calves FIRST in the workout. Yes, FIRST, not first after quads, hamstrings, and abs Yes, you can REALLY do that, it’s not illegal (in most states). 
     
  2. Train your calves OFTEN. Add volume and frequency over time until you start breaking. Once you start breaking shit, step back a little and oscillate around that volume landmark. Don’t break, but don’t fucking cry as soon as it starts to hurt. Calves hurt. So does life. Don’t let your calves be as pathetic as your life. 
     
  3. Stimulate your calves in ways they are not normally stressed. You don’t want to just USE them to perform a motion- you want them to ADAPT by hypertrophying – so stress them in ways they are not normally stressed (Hint: How often in your daily life are your calves in a heavily loaded, stretched, position?)

     

  4. Don’t stop for decades. They are tough fuckers. You need to be tougher.

Don’t stop for decades. They are tough fuckers. You need to be tougher.

– Bojan Kostevski

If you continue doing 3 sets of standing (bouncing) calf presses, once or twice per week, AFTER training your bodies biggest and most taxing muscle groups, you have NO right to complain about their inadaptability.

And YES they hurt like hell as soon as you start getting a meaningful stimulus.

So fucking what?

 

About the author

Dr. Bojan Kostevski

Dr. Bojan Kostevski

Chief Medical Officer, Head Coach

Part ER doctor, part personal trainer, Bojan is far from your average physician: he lifts heavy shit, eats enough potatoes to be able to end world hunger and makes people look like they jumped out of the pages of a comic book. He specializes in training physique competitors and heads the science division of Lambda Strength, where he incessantly tinkers with training and nutrition modalities in his quest to perfect our training systems.

Learn more about us.

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