Fuck New Year’s Resolutions – Part IV
INow that we’ve touched on the concept of building momentum through the use of weekly action orientated micro-goals, it’s time to discuss how to keep the momentum going when life throws lemons at you. Consider this installment our way of breaking out the celebratory salt and tequila while we wait for your ass at the finish line.
Madatory cliche’: remember, it’s not about the destination, but the journey. Life will always find new and innovative ways to blow your ship off course and even the best of intentions out the window. We all go through periods where we:
- train and eat sub-optimally (sometimes for months at a time) or
- strain and struggle to muster the motivation to train or
- fall off the wagon completely
Kids get sick. Staff meetings pop up. Last minute business trips hit you out of nowhere. Couples’ therapy sessions blindside us. Injuries throw us off our game. Breakups torpedo our resolve into oblivion. We get it: shit happens; and when it does, it’s usually at the worst possible time.
So what do we do when life hits us with the fury of a drunken Connor McGregor?
The simple truth is that there is strength in numbers: nothing of note is ever achieved in the vacuum of solitude. Having a solid support group to depend on when the shit hits the fan provides us with both the accountability and the objectivity needed to avoid tempting situations and toxic people.
Achieving your goals is not just about willpower. Matter of fact, the whole ego depletion myth that people cling onto in defense of their fragile sense of self is a load of crock. It’s not about white knuckling through cravings, fatigue and stress. It’s about rearranging your quotidian habits so that you can (mostly) avoid situations that you know will throw you off course.
No one is saying that hitting up an all you eat buffet on your birthday is bad. If you can handle it that is. But if you can’t then you need to own up to your weaknesses and avoid situations that will cause you to lose control. Got a sweet tooth the size of Kentucky? Well then don’t keep Nutella in the house. Favor booze over water? Well then you might want to dial it down with the happy-hour drinking games.
And yes, we know full well that it’s easier said than done.
But hat’s why community matters. It shields us from the concussive effects of temptation and helps us to keep focused on the goal at hand. Some people luck out and find community at their gym. Others have always been in an athletic environment and enjoy the camaraderie that comes with playing a sport. Others still have supportive friends and/or family that encourage productive behavior patterns as dictated by your goals.
But the vast majority of us do not have that luxury unfortunately. We strive and toil to build a half decent physique only to inevitably get sucked into the hedonistic haze that stalks men in the night when they holiday with the squad. After which we get violently hurled back to square -3.
SO WHAT’S THE SOLUTION?
The good news is that there are a number of ways to surround yourself with good role models, mentors and like minded individuals.
Social media: contrary to popular belief, the interwebz simply cannot be reduced to the cesspool of hyberbole and asinine folly that everyone makes it out to be. Sure, Ultron got a face full of humanity’s dickbaggery by studying our historical track records and subsequently decided to drown us in the fires of the deep, but rest assured that it’s not all bad. Like you, we have also grown weary of all the online drama, and have for this reason created a special Facebook group to rally people of a certain caliber together for the purpose of sharing knowledge. Note: trolls and online beef mongers will be disallowed and barred from the Lambda Lounge. #ComeAtUsBro
Get out of that cushy comfort zone of yours: If you want to meet more like minded people then you will have to get off your ass and put yourself in the situations where you are likely to meet said people. And this takes work. You can’t sit around hoping to serendipitously bump into your swolemate at the grocery store. Social media has made it easier than ever to get a lay of the land as far as what your city has to offer fitness wise. The possibilities are virtually endless: bootcamps, MMA dojos, running/cycling/hiking groups, powerlifting/bodybuilding gyms, yoga/dance studios, water/winter sports communities… Use that pretty little brain of yours, get creative and most of all get out and try new things. It won’t be easy, but given some time, you are bound to find people that you can connect with and rope into your social circle.
Networking: networking is a weird concept for a lot of people; I almost feel as if most of us mistake true networking for what I personally refer to as collecting ‘contacts’. We stalk local big shots at corporate events and business dinners like famished hyenas in the hopes of getting their Facebook details, just so we can like their pages and dutifully tag them on posts we think they will find relevant cuz, you know, we be adding value… We plan coffee dates to ‘catch up’ when in fact all we want is to score some advice and/or help, hoping that our small change bribery will open the flood gates of good will. It just doesn’t work like that. Successful networking requires us to step away from our own selfish motivations and embrace a certain measure of selflessness and genuinity. Offer your skills to those that need them, and do it freely. Build an ironclad reputation of professionalism, integrity and expertise through your actions. Come through for the right people at the right time for the right reasons and watch the doors of opportunity open before you. You will be invited to events and introduced to people that not only share your mindset but also your passions. I mean come on, EVERYONE has that one friend that is a gym freak.
The point here is that there are awesome people out there. You just have to go out and find them. Use the power of friendship and accountability to power through the hard times and you will soon bask in the light of victory
About the author
Head Coach, Managing Director
Wordsmith. Lover of Medieval literature. Heavy metal guitarist. History nerd. Dan mainly works with general population clients and normal folks that want to achieve their personal version of the extraordinary. He enjoys learning about what makes people tick, and to that purpose has decided to pursue a PhD in Business, focusing his research on the psychological imperatives that drive customer behavior – Basically, whether you’re looking to lose a little holiday weight or up your nude game to 12/10, he’s got what it takes to lead to the Promised Land.