The last time I went on a 10 Km was about 8 years ago. You want to know why? Because cardio fucking sucks, that’s why.
Think of it this way: skipping out on a single slice of cheesecake will spare you an hour (or more) of torturous running, so If fat loss and sexitude are your PRIMARY goals, cardio is probably the LAST thing you should be obsessing about.
People seem to think that cardio is the one and only golden key to the heavenly realms of perpetual fat loss, and to those people I say this: GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES.
Newsflash bitches, if your CALORIES aren’t in check, no amount of cardio is EVER going to fire bomb your jiggly bits into sweet oblivion. End of story.
– Daniele Moretti
Now, for the crazies out there that *actually* like to get their cardio on, by all means, have at it; something something about cardiovascular health and blood pressure or whatever. But to those that just want to get jacked, tan, and fucking sexy, know that cardio is OPTIONAL; it’s nothing more than a tool designed to increase your caloric expenditure IF and WHEN the situation calls for it i.e.:
- If your calories are already stupidly low and you have a photoshoot/physique show coming up in the next few weeks.
- If you play sports that require a certain threshold of cardiovascular endurance.
- If you enjoy dat dere cardio life.
SO LET’S DISPEL SOME MYTHS, SHALL WE?
- Cardio is NOT an efficient way of burning calories[1]. Managing your nutrition is way better.
- Cardio, ESPECIALLY when not supported by a solid nutritional protocol, provides FAR less protection against muscle loss than strength training. [2].
- Cardio, if not done with proper technique, can lead to wear and tear and long term injury, with incidence of injury varying between 19% and 79%. Yea, that’s out of control high [3].
And just to prove to you skeptical motherfuckers out there that we know what the fuck we’re doing, have a looksie at how shredded our clients regularly get with ZERO cardio.
