Want To Get JACKED? FUCK Cardio

by Feb 8, 2019

The last time I went on a 10 Km was about 8 years ago. You want to know why? Because cardio fucking sucks, that’s why.

Think of it this way: skipping out on a single slice of cheesecake will spare you an hour (or more) of torturous running, so If fat loss and sexitude are your PRIMARY goals, cardio is probably the LAST thing you should be obsessing about.

People seem to think that cardio is the one and only golden key to the heavenly realms of perpetual fat loss, and to those people I say this: GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES.

Newsflash bitches, if your CALORIES aren’t in check, no amount of cardio is EVER going to fire bomb your jiggly bits into sweet oblivion. End of story.

– Daniele Moretti

Now, for the crazies out there that *actually* like to get their cardio on, by all means, have at it; something something about cardiovascular health and blood pressure or whatever. But to those that just want to get jacked, tan, and fucking sexy, know that cardio is OPTIONAL; it’s nothing more than a tool designed to increase your caloric expenditure IF and WHEN the situation calls for it i.e.:

  1. If your calories are already stupidly low and you have a photoshoot/physique show coming up in the next few weeks.


  2. If you play sports that require a certain threshold of cardiovascular endurance.
  3. If you enjoy dat dere cardio life.


  1. Cardio is NOT an efficient way of burning calories[1]. Managing your nutrition is way better. 
  2. Cardio, ESPECIALLY when not supported by a solid nutritional protocol, provides FAR less protection against muscle loss than strength training. [2]. 
  3. Cardio, if not done with proper technique, can lead to wear and tear and long term injury, with incidence of injury varying between 19% and 79%. Yea, that’s out of control high [3].

And just to prove to you skeptical motherfuckers out there that we know what the fuck we’re doing, have a looksie at how shredded our clients regularly get with ZERO cardio.


If you’re simply looking to look and feel your absolute best, focus on eating right and training with some heavy ass weights. Cardio may or may not come into the picture depending on personal preference and need.


Now go and share this shit with your friends so that they too can start making ALL THE GAINZ starting from now, and if you have any questions make sure to hit us up on our social media platforms and we’ll get back to you faster than you can say FUCK CARDIO.



[1] Hall C1, Figueroa A, Fernhall B, Kanaley JA.Med Sci Sports Exerc. 2004 Dec;36(12):2128-34. Energy expenditure of walking and running: comparison with prediction equations.

[2] Edda Cava, Nai Chien Yeat, and Bettina Mittendorfer,  2017 May; 8(3): 511–519.,  Preserving Healthy Muscle during Weight Loss

 [3]  van Gent R, Siem D, van Middelkoop M, van Os A, Bierma-Zeinstra S, et al. (2007) Incidence and determinants of lower extremity running injuries in long distance runners: A systematic review. Br J Sports Med 41: 469–480

About the author

Dr. Bojan Kostevski

Dr. Bojan Kostevski

Chief Medical Officer, Head Coach

Part ER doctor, part personal trainer, Bojan is far from your average physician: he lifts heavy shit, eats enough potatoes to be able to end world hunger and makes people look like they jumped out of the pages of a comic book. He specializes in training physique competitors and heads the science division of Lambda Strength, where he incessantly tinkers with training and nutrition modalities in his quest to perfect our training systems.

Learn more about us.



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